How to support loved ones with chronic health conditions
Why support matters
Chronic health conditions can affect every aspect of daily life. Everyday tasks that once seemed routine, like working, caring for a family, or running errands, can become more difficult or unpredictable.
But support from family and friends can make a meaningful difference. Taking time to understand their challenges, offer encouragement, and be present when they need it most can help loved ones feel less isolated as they navigate the realities of living with a chronic health condition.
Tips for supporting a loved one
Learn as much as you can about your loved one’s condition.
Ask them for literature or websites to read, search on your own, or ask a professional for reading materials. Knowing more about their condition will help you relate. Don't use it to offer advice or fix them.
The last thing they want to hear is “you don’t look sick,” “if you exercised, you’d feel better,” or “I know how you feel.”
The last thing they want to hear is that they don't look sick or you know exactly how they feel.
Go to their doctor's appointments to listen, take notes, and make sure their voice is being heard, including their questions, frustrations, and insights.
After the appointment, share your notes and talk to them only as much as they are willing.
Respect that your loved one and their doctors understand the situation best.
Don’t be the person who emails or calls to share the latest miracle cure you heard from your mother’s best friend's neighbor. Don’t insult their intelligence or the effort they are putting in with their doctors already. Chances are they’ve spent hundreds of hours researching their condition.
Find something you can enjoy with them that won't deplete their energy. If they can’t do something physically active one day, find hobbies you can do together like a puzzle, watching movies, playing games, or trying a new craft.
These activities can help keep their mind off the pain, and they may also open up to you while enjoying time together.
Listen and follow their lead
Ask how you can help them, whether it's something around the house, going to the doctor’s office, picking up groceries, making dinner, or doing laundry.
Sometimes that help will mean simply taking time to be with them, sit with them, and listen to them. At times it may not feel like they want to talk, but if you give them the space, they may open up.
But don't think they always want you around, either. Don’t be offended if they want to be alone or if they turn down time together. They need alone time to recharge and heal. If they have kids, you could also take the kids out for an activity to give your loved one the quiet time they need.
Remember to take care of yourself
Make sure you are taking care of your own health, both physically and mentally. This is especially important if you are a spouse or live in the same home. Your health is important, and without it, you are not good for them or yourself.
Don't forget that you don't have to do everything alone. Take care of yourself by finding other supports options available for your loved one.
Many insurance companies have case management services available for members. Case management services connect your loved one with a team of dedicated health care professionals who will give them personal, one-on-one assistance.
